It's Go Time, World

Ladies & Gentleman, I'm quite pleased to admit that I am back for good. Writing that post the other day, as short as it was, made me happy and took a load off. I missed blogging. Sometimes it's nice to find strength in the arms of strangers. Please bear with me over the next couple of weeks, I'm going to be revamping the blog a little bit. I don't even know where to start with that, i'll play around with things and then see what I like the most.

I'm currently camped out at Starbucks, in Barnes & Noble...my favorite place ever. There are some serious wackjobs out today.  I just dropped part of my muffin on my freaking keyboard. Seriously, wtf? Maybe that's a sign that I should stop talking about people (I wish that I could use Emoji faces so that you can see my facial expression). Sike, I'm never going to stop talking about people...that's boring as shit.

I turned 25 in June and I swear I'm starting to go thru a quarter-life crisis; it's awful. I feel restless and lazy at the same time. Is that even possible?! I'm not in school this semester because I keeping fucking up and they won't take me back. Newsflash Dean: it's a community college, not Harvard so get the sand out of your fucking vagina, shove a tampon up there and I'm sure that you and I will get along just fine. Just kidding, I will always dislike you. Since I'm not in school and I'm working part-time at both of my jobs, I need more things to do. I almost signed up for a Habitat for Humanity build in Madagascar the other day. I decided that it was a little extreme to take off running before I can really walk. I need to do a Habitat build around here before I go galavanting around the globe. I'm also fairly certain that my parents would not be thrilled if I did that. Maybe I should just sign up for the Peace Corps and be done with it. Anyway, yesterday, I went to a volunteer orientation for this non-profit called 826DC. It's basically an after-school tutoring program. I don't have tons of time to donate but I'm super interested in doing it! They have a Tuesday Night Tutoring program for high school students and they need language tutors in for French. That shit has my name all over it. The only problem is that I have a pass a DC public schools background check, having a DUI on your record fucks shit up. That would be the only reason as to why I wouldn't pass. I'm going to fill out the application tomorrow when I get to work. Wish me luck.

I used my phone GPS to get down to the 826DC office yesterday morning. The orientation was at 10 and the GPS said that it would take 40 minutes, I don't think it took into account that it was rushhour and I can't find my way out of a paper bag. I managed to make it there with plenty of time of time to spare and I didn't even get lost. I'm growing up guys! I also found a parking spot on the street right around the corner from the building. If you've ever driven into DC on a weekday morning, you know how hard it is to find street parking, let alone something close to where you need to go. Of course, something super bad was going to happen to me after all that good fortune. I sat in the car and talked to my mom for a little bit, put on my mascara, twiddled my thumbs...my car was on the whole time because it was hot and I didn't want to sweat. I finally got out of the car and started walking across the street. I turned around to lock the doors and saw some homeless guy pissing on my car. Really dude?!? I was just in the car and the car was running. I guess I caught him off guard because he pissed on his leg a little bit. I didn't even know what to say or do so I just walked away. It was way too early for those kinds of shenanigans.

I've been feeling super crafty lately, Pinterest might have something to do with that. Stupid website. I used to make jewelry with my mom watch my mom make jewelry when I was younger. She was crafty too. I've been making Google my bitch today, I just bookmarked a buttload of sites about DIY jewelry making. Bet $10 that I start to make a necklace, get bored and never finish it. Story of my life. But all jokes aside, I'm going to put studs on my Chucks. I was a pair on  Pinterest and I fell in love. I found a bunch of websites that tell you how to do it, it's not complicated and it doesn't take long so my gnat-like attention span should be able to handle it. Pinterest will be blamed for all the projects that I start and don't finish; that website also sucks up so much of my freaking time. They really need to have a jewelry category.

I'm going to stuff my face with a burrito now but thanks for reading.

xoxo,
Me

A recap of my life

As promised, I have an update about everything that's been going on in my life lately. In all honesty, I don't even know where to begin.

A couple of weeks ago, I was with LRog because we both had the day off so we made it a point of having all day shenanigans together. We went to Arlington to pick up her pay check from the gym and we had lunch; it was a nice, big kid, leisurely affair. We eventually came back to this side of the pond and went to Target. It's official: no matter who I go in there with, I always walk out with shit that I do not need. LRog and I were walking around the men's department because the clothes are so much comfier. I ended up buying a hoodie, a flannel button-down (I totally needed it) and some other useless shit. We left there and went to the bar, I don't even think that it was 5 o'clock yet. Nothing ever stops our party. Her friend, the Corporal, came to hang out with us. I knew who he was when she mentioned his name because I facebook stalk/investigate. Technically, I had done no wrong because he came up as one of the friends that Facebook suggested for me. Anyway, he shows up at the bar and he is hot as shit in person. He smells delicious (always a plus), he's funny, he's all around kind of amazing. He's only kind of amazing because I'm more amazing, duh. We get along really well and we agree on the same things but we always disagree reasonably (meaning that I don't want to punch him in the face for expressing a different opinion). We've been hanging out a lot lately. He was semi-dating this girl when I met him and everything that he told me about her were red flags that she was crazy. I finally got to meet her at his birthday party. Bitch was crazy as fuck, legitimately. He was already pretty much over the situation but a small part of him was hoping that it would work out. Then I showed up, wearing heels and a dress (that only happens on rare occasions) and he forgot all about that crazy bitch. Oops.

The Corporal and I hang out so much that when his boys invite him out, they assume that I'm going to come too. That's not the case; I want him to continue spending time with his boys, I'm not one of those girls that will take over his life because I want to spend all my time with him. I need my space. Can we just talk about how he took me to dinner at his parents house?! He took me to meet his parents on the same day that we slept together (oops on my part). Seriously though, he asked me and the way he said it, I really didn't have a choice in saying no. I was mildly freaking out in the car (silently of course) because I was thinking about the significance of what was about to happen. I was totally overreacting. I take people guys or girls to meet my mom all the time just because it's not unheard of for her to stop by my place randomly. I checked with LRog to make sure that I wasn't going crazy/looking too much into the situation...I was. He takes people to his parents house all the time, she's been there plenty of times. I was totally relieved when she told me that. Whatever. I'm having fun with him and that's all that matters right now.


I'm a girl and at times, I like bedazzlement. I happened to be at the mall one day and something sparkly caught my eye out of my peripheral. My legs started moving before I could even register what it was. I walked into Victoria's Secret and stood there in front of the most amazing sight ever: an entire wall of PINK football themed attire. I couldn't care less about the Redskins shit because they're not my team but there was a shit ton of of Ravens stuff. LRog and I were actually speechless at how beautiful everything was. I wanted to buy everything because it was all black and purple, sequined and amazing. I'm not made of money so I settled for half of the shit...not even kidding.

I honestly don't know of anything else that has happened in my life recently. I've been so busy with work lately that my brain is fried.

While most people are out and about on a Saturday night, I will be at home cleaning my room...finally.

This could either be a stroke of laziness or just plain genuis

So I was just sitting here, catching up on my blog reading and I saw someone's video blog. I think that that's an amazing idea and I want to do. If I had a video blog, would you watch it? You should because I'm awesome. And if I actually did a video blog and you watched it, you would be able to see how truly, amazingly cool I am, duh. First order of business, learn howto use my webcam. I can it happening now, I'm going to take my laptop to the Geek Squad at Best Buy and I'm going to ask them to show me how to use it. They're probably going to think that I'm trying to have Skype sex with some dude. Not the case assholes! I'll let you know how that goes.

Once they show me how to use it, you guys should really get excited because I'm going to be posting video blogs!

Day 2 of not smoking...I'm still alive. I just had cold pizza and OJ for breakfast, now I want a cigarette. I never smoke in my apartment. On days when I stay in bed all day, I don't smoke because I always leave the pack in the car. That's non-lazy me looking out for lazy me, I've never craved a cigarette so badly that I will actually go out to my car and get one. That's just way too much work.

I'm glad that tomorrow is Friday but I'm not pleased that I have to work at the restaurant tonight. I'm lightly punching myself in the ovaries right now. As the time gets closer for me to clock in, the frequency and the intensity will increase.

Happy Thursday

You know what I like about Thursday? It's the day before Friday (cue crappy Rebecca Black song).

I am so looking forward to the weekend. I'm going to sleep in, do some homework, clean my apartment and do all the shit that I haven't been able to do lately. I'm probably not going to do any homework, let's be serious. BUT I am going to watch a lot of football because that's what happens on Sundays now.

I'm still in bed. I really like having class at 1230. Since school is only about 10 minutes away from me, I don't have to rush or anything like that. Be jealous that it's 11AM and my day hasn't even started yet.

I went to the mall with Mommy last night and we saw this guy wearing a t-shirt that said "I love vagina". I'm pretty sure he was gay but either way, it's ballsy as shit to wear a shirt that out there. He might as well have been wearing a shirt that said "i love it when you sit on my face". I would die laughing if I saw that shit.

I'm going to get up and be productive now...maybe. My bed is so much more appealing than going to class. Weak sauce.

It needs to be Friday night, 5 minutes ago.


I like this song, a lot. I think that you should too...

Gotta get down on Friday

I don't know whose idea of a sick joke it was to play that stupid Rebecca Black song on the radio this morning. Of course it was playing at the exact time that my alarm went off. I was in one of those sleeps where you hear your alarm going off but you're not quite sure what it is. I had to actually listen to the sound for it to register and then I realized what was playing. I promptly yanked the plug out the wall, got back in the bed, put the pillow over my head and started rocking back and forth while singing "Party Rock Anthem". I'm kinda dramatic sometimes but I didn't actually start rocking back and forth like a looney. If you haven't heard that song, feel free to listen to it here:

What's going on with music these days?! Someone posted a Youtube video of some chick rapping and carrying on. The song is catchy but it's stupid. See below...

Her name is Kreayshawn. I'm sorry, what's your name?! I was reading her little blurb under her Youtube video, which was directed by Fuck Zentil and produced by Strange Armand. Really?! The following video is also a gem, you get to learn more about why hip-hop fans should care about some white chick from Oakland...

She compares her crew, her team of bitches if you will, to Bratz dolls. No, seriously, she really does. She then proceeds to talk about how she fucks with Shakespeare. I'm sorry, I can't even be serious about this post anymore. Kreayshawn, we understand that you're a bad ass bitch and that you won't hesitate to fuck another bitch up. I'm not going to lie, I like your style and your "don't-give-a-fuck" attitude, it's just not for me. I respect what you're doing and what not, I just wish that you wouldn't sing a song that gets stuck in my head because it's stupidly catchy. Her Tumblr, words cannot describe it. You just need to experience it for yourself. Seriously, what's going on with music today?! That made me think that today is the 1st of the month. You know what that means, rent is due and it's time for some Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. Have a great weekend!

Dear person with a black eye,

I warned you.

Sincerely, I'm not responsible for anything I do while being tickled.

Damn you, woman!

I really want to raid Vanessa Hudgens' closet and jewelry box. She always looks like a hippie and I freaking love it. I've spent so much time today looking for this stupid skirt I saw in a magazine and because she was photographed wearing the same one, it's sold out everywhere. I have done nothing all day, at least I bring my laptop to work so that I'll have something to play with when I get bored. I've spent the day internet window shopping and cleaning out my Chrome bookmarks folder; I bookmark a lot of stupid shit. Window shopping while sitting at my desk always makes my wishlist so much longer because I can actually copy/paste the pictures into a OneNote file. Things stay in said file for such a long time and sometimes I don't even buy them but it's nice to scroll through the pictures sometimes and look at everything. Today's such a blah day. 

Truths for Mature Humans

1.       I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2.       Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3.       I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4.       There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

5.       How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6.       Was learning cursive really necessary?

7.       Mapquest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure that I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8.       Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9.       I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10.   Bad decisions make good stories.

11.   You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just won’t do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12.   Can we all agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13.   I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14.   “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means that I will never wash this--- ever.

15.   I hate when I miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? ****it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and then goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and then run away?

16.   I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17.   I keep some people’s numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18.   I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19.   I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20.   I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routine option.

21.   Sometimes I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize that I had no idea what the heck was going on the first time I saw it.

22.   I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring the groceries in.

23.   The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

24.   I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25.   How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

26.   I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27.   Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28.   Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber and dumber every year?

29.   There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you’re going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30.   As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

31.   Sometime I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32.   Even under ideal conditions, people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I bet my *** everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

***Disclaimer: I did not write this, I found it courtesy of Stumble Upon (best website ever)

Also, I’m very sorry for my brief absence. Finals were more important and I needed to focus enough to run train on those bad boys. Finals are over and I will be spending the entire weekend in bed, reading, staring at the ceiling and doing a whole bunch of nothing because I can.

Song of the day,enjoy...

Also, I just want to thank my followers...you guys make my heart skip a beat.