A recap of my life

As promised, I have an update about everything that's been going on in my life lately. In all honesty, I don't even know where to begin.

A couple of weeks ago, I was with LRog because we both had the day off so we made it a point of having all day shenanigans together. We went to Arlington to pick up her pay check from the gym and we had lunch; it was a nice, big kid, leisurely affair. We eventually came back to this side of the pond and went to Target. It's official: no matter who I go in there with, I always walk out with shit that I do not need. LRog and I were walking around the men's department because the clothes are so much comfier. I ended up buying a hoodie, a flannel button-down (I totally needed it) and some other useless shit. We left there and went to the bar, I don't even think that it was 5 o'clock yet. Nothing ever stops our party. Her friend, the Corporal, came to hang out with us. I knew who he was when she mentioned his name because I facebook stalk/investigate. Technically, I had done no wrong because he came up as one of the friends that Facebook suggested for me. Anyway, he shows up at the bar and he is hot as shit in person. He smells delicious (always a plus), he's funny, he's all around kind of amazing. He's only kind of amazing because I'm more amazing, duh. We get along really well and we agree on the same things but we always disagree reasonably (meaning that I don't want to punch him in the face for expressing a different opinion). We've been hanging out a lot lately. He was semi-dating this girl when I met him and everything that he told me about her were red flags that she was crazy. I finally got to meet her at his birthday party. Bitch was crazy as fuck, legitimately. He was already pretty much over the situation but a small part of him was hoping that it would work out. Then I showed up, wearing heels and a dress (that only happens on rare occasions) and he forgot all about that crazy bitch. Oops.

The Corporal and I hang out so much that when his boys invite him out, they assume that I'm going to come too. That's not the case; I want him to continue spending time with his boys, I'm not one of those girls that will take over his life because I want to spend all my time with him. I need my space. Can we just talk about how he took me to dinner at his parents house?! He took me to meet his parents on the same day that we slept together (oops on my part). Seriously though, he asked me and the way he said it, I really didn't have a choice in saying no. I was mildly freaking out in the car (silently of course) because I was thinking about the significance of what was about to happen. I was totally overreacting. I take people guys or girls to meet my mom all the time just because it's not unheard of for her to stop by my place randomly. I checked with LRog to make sure that I wasn't going crazy/looking too much into the situation...I was. He takes people to his parents house all the time, she's been there plenty of times. I was totally relieved when she told me that. Whatever. I'm having fun with him and that's all that matters right now.


I'm a girl and at times, I like bedazzlement. I happened to be at the mall one day and something sparkly caught my eye out of my peripheral. My legs started moving before I could even register what it was. I walked into Victoria's Secret and stood there in front of the most amazing sight ever: an entire wall of PINK football themed attire. I couldn't care less about the Redskins shit because they're not my team but there was a shit ton of of Ravens stuff. LRog and I were actually speechless at how beautiful everything was. I wanted to buy everything because it was all black and purple, sequined and amazing. I'm not made of money so I settled for half of the shit...not even kidding.

I honestly don't know of anything else that has happened in my life recently. I've been so busy with work lately that my brain is fried.

While most people are out and about on a Saturday night, I will be at home cleaning my room...finally.

Tomfoolery at its finest

I would have written a post earlier but I literally did not have time. I had Friday off and because LRog had the day off as well, we decided that it was a good idea to spend the day together. We went to Arlington to pick up her paycheck from the gym and we had lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. That's when the drinking started. I was really hungry (per the usual) so I ordered pasta. If you've ever been to that restaurant, you know how big the portions are...I basically ordered enough food for 2 people. Fattie.
We decided that more drinks were in order so we came back to the area and went to Target. Shenanigans! We walked around the clothing section, trying on shit that we didn't need and we both walked out $50 poorer. That's not bad considering the damage that I normally do at Target. After we left there, we decided that it was time that we indulged in some happy hour action at 4 in the afternoon. We're cool like that, no big deal.
We went to our favorite neighborhood dive bar (also because we're cool like that) and it was so weird because we've never been there that early before. There were a bunch a old guys and their creepy "girlfriends". LRog and I sat at the bar and decided that we needed to call in some people to drink with us. She made some calls and the boys showed up. She knew that she needed to be up at 630 the next morning but at that point, she knew that we weren't going to make it home until morning.
We all left the bar and went to Bethesda to get food/more alcohol. We must have hit 3 or 4 bars, I wasn't really drinking because I knew that I had to drive home. We go to Tommy Joe's and I ran into Mr. One Testicle (there's a post about him from a few months ago). He put his arms around me from behind and gave me a kiss on the cheek. That caused some issues because the guys that we were with are all friends with his ex. They haven't been together in over a year AND she has a new boyfriend. What's the freaking problem?! He kinda got the message so he walked away. I was on my way to the bathroom and I saw him again. We made eye contact, it was so intense that it actually gave me tingles in my girlie parts! I went up to him and absolutely no words were exchanged before he kissed me; next thing I know we were making out in the middle of the bar. Oops. He kept trying to get me to go home with him but I refused because I had to take LRog home, I couldn't just leave her stranded at the bar.
We ended up leaving and going to another bar. There was a lot of drama because the guys that we were with wanted to know what my deal was with Mr. One Testicle blah blah blah. It's none of their business. LRog and I ended up calling it a night because it was 3AM. I like the guys that we were with, they were sweet and all that but I'm not down with them all up in my shit.
Why is it that there always has to be so much drama?! I think that's one of the reasons that I'm so iffy about dating or any of that. It might also have something to do with the fact that I'm picky. Sorry that I don't want to date a douchcanoe.
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Am I getting soft in my old age?

I've been catching up on my extremely long Netflix queue and was very happy to receive a lovely little red envelope in the mail yesterday. I have to most random movies on there, from Nicholas Sparks-type shit to movies where crap blows up every five minutes. I reorganize the queue frequently, depending on what kind of mood I'm in. Anyway, yesterday I got the movie No Strings Attached; it's the one with Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher. They're friends with benefits womp womp womp, look it up here. If you've seen the movie, then wonderful; you'll be able to understand the majority of this post. While I was watching the movie, I couldn't help but see the personality resemblance between me and Natalie Portman's character. I don't do relationships because it's just easier not to and dare I say, I'm afraid of getting hurt. I don't want to invest that much effort when that person is just going to turn around and leave or I'm just going to get bored. Me getting bored happens more often than not when it comes to guys. I have very little patience for stupidity and the other person needs to put forth a little bit of effort in order to keep me even remotely entertained. I'm not asking for someone to give me the moon, I'm not crazy. I'd like to do more than drink, watch you do drugs (I don't get down with those activities because I'm on probation) and have sex. Now if the sex were earth-shattering, back-breaking kind of shit then I'd be quite alright with constant drinking and the illegal activities because I'd be getting amazing orgasms in return. Half the time, it's okay and it hits the spot at that very moment. But let's be serious for a minute, after a certain point, that shit gets old. I'm at the point where I'm looking for something more, something that's been missing from the past "flings". If someone can come up with a better word than relationship as a means of defining what I'm looking for, then by all means, please let me know. As of right now, I guess I'm kinda looking for a relationship (I can't believe that I'm actually saying this). As much as I've loved having flings or whatever-you-want-to-call-thems, I'm looking for something more...something that actually means something. My quest for something meaningful with regards to guys has led me to believe that I'm getting soft in my old age.

When I was 21, I paid no attention to anyone but myself. I did what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted and I took pity on anyone that tried to stop me. I strung guys along and played with their feelings on purpose just because I knew that I could. Maybe that's why the guys that I like/want to get to know better now are all douchebags and they get worse every single time. I'm getting the shitty behavior back tenfold, karma's a huge fucking bitch and I totally deserve it. I just feel like it would be nice to have someone to cuddle with (sex or no sex), someone to walk down the street and hold hands with, someone to have pointless conversations with at 4 o'clock in the morning just because you can. I may be a huge bitch and I act like a don't need anyone but I'm not going to lie, that's all an act. I want/need those relationship-type things sometimes. I'm not saying I want to spend all of my waking hours with someone because I have my life and they have theirs but "companionship" would be nice sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I have pretty freaking amazing friends and family but they can't fill that void. I know I've said a million times that I would take time off from guys and blah blah blah, suck a fat one...but there's a tiny minuscule part of me that kinda wants a relationship or at least something more than sex. I know it's summer and being single during the summer is great but sometimes it's nice to not come home alone. 

Now that I've bared my soul and I feel like a gump for having said everything I just said, I'm going to make myself feel better by dancing around my apartment (Cameron Diaz-style) to this song. Don't forget to insert a little fist pumping, enjoy...