It's Go Time, World

Ladies & Gentleman, I'm quite pleased to admit that I am back for good. Writing that post the other day, as short as it was, made me happy and took a load off. I missed blogging. Sometimes it's nice to find strength in the arms of strangers. Please bear with me over the next couple of weeks, I'm going to be revamping the blog a little bit. I don't even know where to start with that, i'll play around with things and then see what I like the most.

I'm currently camped out at Starbucks, in Barnes & Noble...my favorite place ever. There are some serious wackjobs out today.  I just dropped part of my muffin on my freaking keyboard. Seriously, wtf? Maybe that's a sign that I should stop talking about people (I wish that I could use Emoji faces so that you can see my facial expression). Sike, I'm never going to stop talking about people...that's boring as shit.

I turned 25 in June and I swear I'm starting to go thru a quarter-life crisis; it's awful. I feel restless and lazy at the same time. Is that even possible?! I'm not in school this semester because I keeping fucking up and they won't take me back. Newsflash Dean: it's a community college, not Harvard so get the sand out of your fucking vagina, shove a tampon up there and I'm sure that you and I will get along just fine. Just kidding, I will always dislike you. Since I'm not in school and I'm working part-time at both of my jobs, I need more things to do. I almost signed up for a Habitat for Humanity build in Madagascar the other day. I decided that it was a little extreme to take off running before I can really walk. I need to do a Habitat build around here before I go galavanting around the globe. I'm also fairly certain that my parents would not be thrilled if I did that. Maybe I should just sign up for the Peace Corps and be done with it. Anyway, yesterday, I went to a volunteer orientation for this non-profit called 826DC. It's basically an after-school tutoring program. I don't have tons of time to donate but I'm super interested in doing it! They have a Tuesday Night Tutoring program for high school students and they need language tutors in for French. That shit has my name all over it. The only problem is that I have a pass a DC public schools background check, having a DUI on your record fucks shit up. That would be the only reason as to why I wouldn't pass. I'm going to fill out the application tomorrow when I get to work. Wish me luck.

I used my phone GPS to get down to the 826DC office yesterday morning. The orientation was at 10 and the GPS said that it would take 40 minutes, I don't think it took into account that it was rushhour and I can't find my way out of a paper bag. I managed to make it there with plenty of time of time to spare and I didn't even get lost. I'm growing up guys! I also found a parking spot on the street right around the corner from the building. If you've ever driven into DC on a weekday morning, you know how hard it is to find street parking, let alone something close to where you need to go. Of course, something super bad was going to happen to me after all that good fortune. I sat in the car and talked to my mom for a little bit, put on my mascara, twiddled my thumbs...my car was on the whole time because it was hot and I didn't want to sweat. I finally got out of the car and started walking across the street. I turned around to lock the doors and saw some homeless guy pissing on my car. Really dude?!? I was just in the car and the car was running. I guess I caught him off guard because he pissed on his leg a little bit. I didn't even know what to say or do so I just walked away. It was way too early for those kinds of shenanigans.

I've been feeling super crafty lately, Pinterest might have something to do with that. Stupid website. I used to make jewelry with my mom watch my mom make jewelry when I was younger. She was crafty too. I've been making Google my bitch today, I just bookmarked a buttload of sites about DIY jewelry making. Bet $10 that I start to make a necklace, get bored and never finish it. Story of my life. But all jokes aside, I'm going to put studs on my Chucks. I was a pair on  Pinterest and I fell in love. I found a bunch of websites that tell you how to do it, it's not complicated and it doesn't take long so my gnat-like attention span should be able to handle it. Pinterest will be blamed for all the projects that I start and don't finish; that website also sucks up so much of my freaking time. They really need to have a jewelry category.

I'm going to stuff my face with a burrito now but thanks for reading.

xoxo,
Me

Damn girl, you so fine

I have class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, unfortunately. Some girls take school as a social event and get all dressed up so they look cute walking across campus. I personally couldn't care less, it's a miracle that I change out of my pajama pants and put on real clothes. I decided that it was a nice day so I wanted to wear shorts. I had this old pair of hole-y 7 for All Mankind jeans that I refused to part with (they were my ultimate favorites that made my ass look amazing and went with everything but looked best with a tshirt and flip-flops) that I cut into shorts that fall right above my knee. It was a clean cut but I just folded them up once because I'm cool and threw on a white tee with my super cool Chucks. I have a thing for shoes in general but nothing (seriously, nothing...not even food and I LOVE food) gets me going more than a super sweet pair of Chucks, like these...

I put them up on my BFF's bathroom counter, which she had just finished cleaning. Um, I love you?

It was sunny so I grab my Aviators because they go with everything and I went to class. I don't know what it was today but I was getting checked out left and right, it was pretty ridiculous. After I finished class for the day, I waited outside the campus center for a friend, let's just call him Little Chief Swag (I just laughed thinking about how much he would love that nickname but he's Little Chief because I'm Big Chief Swag). This group of guys walked passed me and as soon as they went by I knew this guy was going to turn around and talk to me, I saw the way he looked me up and down. Sure enough..."Damn girl, you so fine that I just had to come get your number". Of course you did, because I hand it out to every guy that says shit like that to me. Haha, no! Get the hell out of here with that weak sauce. But my mother raised me to be polite so I couldn't be a raging cunt (yeah, I said it). He would not leave me alone, I told him that I was a lesbian and he pursued me even more. I like girls and you clearly aren't that. What makes you think that you're going to the guy to make me want guys again? You're not that cute and you looked like you just had your 16th birthday yesterday. I turn 24 in June...get out of here young blood! The only way I got rid of him was to friend him on Facebook (so bootleg). I figured that when he got a little stalker-ish, I could just block him.

This kid didn't even wait 24 hours to start stalking. Not more than 3 hours later, my phone started blowing up because of all the Facebook notifications from his activity on my profile. I was enjoying a couple (read: too many) daytime drinks before starting a paper for school and he was cramping my style! He commented on every single one of my profile pictures and sent me a message saying that I need to upload more pictures for him to look at. Excuse me?! As soon as finals start (in a week and a half), he will be blocked and never heard from again. I don't want to block him now because I don't want to run into him at school and have him ask me what happened. That would be an awkward conversation! I'm really too nice of a person but that's really ironic because I'm a huge bitch...if you don't know you better ask somebody!

Seriously though, I don't know what I'm doing to turn these guys into crazy stalkers but I obviously need to start being a raging bitch to get rid of them. And for those of you that read my post about the crazy Lebanese stalker I had...well, I thought this guy had finally gotten the message by my lack of return contact. He stopped for a few days and then on Easter, he decided that he really missed me. Ummm hello?! I haven't talked to you in over a week and I have no desire to even talk to you long enough to tell you to FUCK OFF. Why aren't you catching on you crazy crazy man?!?!?

This is completely unrelated but this is my BFF, partner-in-crime, ride-or-die chick, however you want to call it...

Her name is Pretty Face.

That's all I have for today, except for maybe some sweet tunes, enjoy...



I have cool friends that listen to cool music.




Later, you sexy bitches!