Weekend Recap

This post would have come sooner but I legitimately didn't have time for it, actually doing shit wears me out! Thursday was my mom's birthday, she swears that it was her 45th. Lies. Add about ten years and you'll have her correct age but to humor her, I keep wishing her a happy 50th every year. Anyway, being the nice daughter that I am, I bought her tickets to tour Fallingwater. If you don't know what that is, feel free to educate yourself here. I think that it is, by far, one of my favorite Frank Lloyd Wright homes. It's absolutely stunning. Our tour appointment was at 8:30AM (ungodly hour) and we left my place at 4:30AM (an even ungodlier hour) because we didn't want to get stuck in traffic or get lost. We didn't get stuck in traffic but we did get lost. Mommy blames it on the incredibly dense fog but I blame it on her inability to read a ginormous street sign. Seriously though, the fog was so dense and so low that we couldn't even see the brake lights on the car in front of us. Mapquest decided to play a sick joke on us and take us through the backwoods of PA. Kid you not, we were driving on two lane, rollercoaster like roads; there were cornfields on one side and cows and horse on the other. I was totally okay with that because I like to get down with nature. But then, I happen to notice lovely Confederate flags everywhere. My mom instinctively locks the car doors and we both check our phones...of course, we had no service. The dramatic person that I am, I immediately start ranting about how the car is going to die and backwoods, inbred rednecks are going to sniff us out. They're going to come find us and then they're going do horrible things to us AND make us squeal like pigs. I've seen Deliverance and everything that happened in that movie happens in real life, duh!

Anyway, we make it out of the Confederacy alive and we get to Ohiopyle, PA. Cutest little place I have ever seen. I really need to go back there for a weekend with a friend (preferably a boy) and shack up in a cabin and do nothing, or something depending on how you look out it. Anyway, we finally make it to Fallingwater unharmed. Smart girl that I am, I had forgotten to charge my camera the night before so it died halfway through the tour. Idiot. I did take some sweet pictures with my phone though. I really took the most random pictures ever.

We got back from PA a lot earlier than we thought that we would so I decided that we were going to the gun range because I wanted to learn about the classes that they offered. I'm really glad that Mommy went with me because it was really intimidating and had I been alone, I probably would have just walked out. She was not happy to be there at all because she thinks that I have anger issues and that as soon as I learn how to shoot a gun, I'm going to go out and buy one and start shooting everyone that pissed me off. We actually had a serious conversation about it that resulted in me getting really pissed off. She actually thinks that I would physically harm someone. REALLY?!? If that's the case mother dear, then you should reevaluate your parenting skills. I would never, in my life, actually physically harm someone. I don't have the time nor do I have the patience for it and oh by the way, I was taught that hurting others is wrong. That whole conversation with her thoroughly annoyed me.

Moving on. On Sunday, I spent some much needed girl time with my friend Chelsea. We had sushi and we went to see Our Idiot Brother. It was pretty good. I'm so glad that we had girl time because we really needed to vent and get things off our chest. She's so cute, I love her.

Today, I was supposed to go to the beach with my friend Bruno and his friend Philippe. That didn't quite work out because the weather wasn't looking so hot. Instead we decided that crabs were a better idea. Since Philippe had never been to Annapolis, we decided to go there to stuff our faces. I'm from Maryland so I'll crush the shit out of some crabs but today I wasn't quite feeling all the work . We settled for a dozen crabs, shrimp and a shit ton of fried because we're cool like that. After we stuffed our faces, we decided that  going to Ikea was a good idea. Seriously, best idea ever. I love that store but I hate it when I go in there and don't have the money to buy everything that I need. I saw that couch and all the furniture that I want for my apartment. I needed to go and see that shit, now I'm totally motivated to get back on that track. After we left Ikea, we went to Coldstone because we're fatties like that. I pay no attention to college sports so I had no idea why the traffic was so bad in College Park. Turns out that University of Miami was playing UMD and that's why traffic was so bad on Route 1. Damn football.

By the time I got home and sat down on the couch, my exhaustion finally settled in. Tomorrow, I promise a picture post with all the good shit I took at Fallingwater. Until then, I'm going to catch up on my sleep.

Later bitches!!

Is it Monday already?!

So I finally created a new playlist. This one's pretty legit too. I wasn't quite sure what kind of mood I was in when I got to work this morning so I opened AOL radio and picked a random genre. I ended up picking Indie and then it gave me more choices. I'm not so good with choices when I'm in an undecided mood. I looked over the options and picked Indietronica. That was totally what I needed. I've been listening to it all day. I've been productive and I've been on top of shit at work. Good music always hepls to make things better. Today's not such a bad day after all.

Saturday turned out to be a good day. I went to Starbucks to blog after my little run-in with a crazy man and then I went to Mommy's. I was supposed to hang out with Little Chief Swag but he was being such a douche that I told him to suck a fat one. It was still early in the day and I had already reached my douchebag quota for the day so I wasn't about to deal with the Chief and his PMS. When I got to Mommy's, I told her about the stupid racist and she just started laughing because she knew that I probably would have stood there and tried to make him see the error of his ways. I'm stubborn like that. We went to Arundel Mills because I wanted to go to Bass Pro Shop. I've been trying to get in touch with my wilderness side for some time now so  I decided that I needed a camo hat. I got a pretty legit one. I should have taken a picture of it but I wasn't thinking. When I wear, I'll post a picture of it. Some dirty old man tried to get me to buy a duck caller. He called me over to his counter so that he could stare at my boobies. Not cool, especially when I'm looking right at you! Why on Earth would I need a duck caller?! His response was that I would use it to call ducks. Thanks you stupid fuck, I couldn't figure that out on my own. I managed to only walk out with a hat; that might have something to do with Mommy refusing to let me by a bow and arrow. She said I didn't need it. Erroneous! I do too need a bow and arrow. How do you think I'm supposed to annihilate stupid people and save the world with my ninja skill?! Thanks for being a buzzkill, Mom!

I took my friend Bianca out last night because she just turned 21. We went to Rio for swirls and one of the guys from work showed up to drink with us. We're all in the middle of a conversation when I see this guy walk into the bar. I stopped mid-sentence because I knew that walk and I knew that face, there was no mistaking him for anyone else. The only I wasn't sure was because I was fairly certain that he was still in South Carolina. I even went to length of having the bartender IDing him so that I could be sure that it really was him. That's creeping at its finest for you. It was Carter, in all his Tucker Max-ness. He's my brother's best friend. My brother, of course, isn't my biological brother but we grew up together, his mom and my mom are best friends; as far as everyone is concerned, we're brother and sister though. Anyway, Carter is kinda like my older brother too because we would all hang out together when we were little. They're three years older than me and I worshiped the ground they walked on. They tried to stuff me in the dryer when I was 4 because they thought I would fit. Turns out that a 4 year old version of me actually fits in the dryer just right.  They also thought that it was a good idea to play soccer in the house, I was just sitting on the couch watching cartoons. One of those idiots kicked the ball so hard that it bounced off the wall and knocked a picture off the opposite wall. The ball hit it so hard that it shattered the glass. Upon hearing the sound of glass breaking, Joey's mom came downstairs and saw me sitting there, scared shitless. The boys were nowhere in sight so of course I was to blame for the mess because her son could do no wrong. I can't even tell you how many things I got blamed for because I was the youngest and Donna thought that her son was an angel. She clearly had no idea who he was. Anyway, I ran up to Carter and jumped on him because I hadn't seen him in so long. He moved to SC a few months ago and I hadn't talked to him since he left. I knew that acknowledging his presence last night would only lead to shenanigans. They were mild compared to what I thought they would be. Carter is known for his assclown-ery. I think that Aka (another one of my bro's friends) was more intoxicated though; that's a shocker because it takes a lot to outdo Carter. Aka kept hitting on me and grabbing my hand while Carter was holding onto my other hand. It was a shitshow and I was still sober. He tried to kiss me on numerous occasions, each time it led to him getting slapped in the face, hard. I really do love him though. We're going out again tonight. Joey's going to be pissed but that really isn't my issue. He really doesn't like it when I hang out with his friends without him around to monitor them. I'm 24, not 14. He and I both know that I can hold my own.

I can't get this song out of my head...

Friday, I've missed you!

Oh Friday, you always take so long to get here and then you only stick around for a little while. That's rude! Nonetheless, I'm so glad that you're here. That means that I can attempt to sleep in tomorrow. I will fully admit that I've been slacking like shit on blog comments and what not. I've been so tired lately that I have barely had the energy to do anything but work and sleep. I promise you that that will never happen again.

I've had a pretty uneventful day. I had to go to a meeting in Fairfax for work. I finally met the program coordinator that I had been working with (emailing/playing telephone tag with) at the Senior Employment Center. This woman is a little freaking hobgoblin! She looked Madame Serena from Teen Witch. If you haven't seen it or have no clue what it is, you really need to educate yourself because it's a crucial part of  the 80s. She was so rude and condescending to me today, she told me that I was too young to have my job and that I should work in an ice cream shop. That little bitch is lucky that I didn't kick the cane out from under her, I was very tempted. Anyway, she can honestly suck my non-existent dick, she's the perfect height to do it too.

Someone that calls themselves a friend of mine posted the new Rebecca Black video on my Facebook wall this morning. For some unknown reason, I actually watched the video. I couldn't stop watching it, and then I was humming along and bobbing my head to the beat. I caught myself mid bob and promptly deleted the post. Thanks a-hole. I'll get your ass back for that one.

If you haven't seen this video, please watch it. It's definitely a gem...

Happy Friday!

Birthday pictures

So I finally saw the pictures from the birthday festivities. I would just like to reiterate how much I love my girls. They really are my partners-in-crime and they never cease to make my heart skip a beat. I was pretty hammered in some of these pictures but I think I look okay. Nice job keeping your shit together, face!

Somebody thought it was a good idea to let me play with daddy's iPad, that resulted in a photoshoot.

A few things on my mind today...

• I wish Chipotle delivered. And if any of the ones that I go to close down, I'm going to be very upset. If you have no clue what I'm talking about, please catch up here.
• Apparently, I met some guy when I was standing outside of the bar the other night. I don't know how we started talking but I ended up giving him my number. I saved his number in my phone as Officer Dan the Man... I think that's a great stripper name. I woke up to a text from him, making sure that I made it home okay. I actually had to lay in bed and think about who he was. I finally remembered and then I texted him back. We tentatively made plans for Sunday, my birthday; we made said plans based on how I felt. As you can imagine, I was pretty hungover and I legitimately thought I was dying while I was dry-heaving and holding on to my toilet for dear life. Anyway, turns out this guy is a DC cop and he patrols the neighborhood that Daddy lives in. When I told dude I wasn't feeling so hot and wasn't sure if I could be in public for a long period of time, he suggested that I come to his house. Excuse me?! I have seen way too many horror movies/episodes of Law & Order SVU to know that black girls don't make it out alive. I told him that, for safety reasons, I wasn't going to come to his house. He actually took offense to that. He called me to remind me that he was a cop. Yes Officer Dan the Man, I know what your profession is and that is the very reason why I'm not coming to your house. You probably have a gun/know how to use one, you have handcuffs and you are a cop. You could shoot me, cut me up into little pieces, spread my body across 5 states and no one would ever find me. I think I'll pass on that whole potential rape & murder scenario but thanks so much for the offer. We met in a public place for drinks and appetizers. He's kinda cute, just a little bit though. He has the potential to be clingy/needy. Homie don't play that. He's a nice guy and I would totally be friends with him but it would totally end there. I was thinking about this when I was on my way home from meeting up with him...I've been alone for so long that I'm comfortable with it. At this point, starting a relationship just seems like such a hassle and so much work. He's definitely not one I want to put in work with. I haven't really found anyone like that, which leads me to believe that I will end up alone. I guess it's a good thing that I'm allergic to cats. 
• I went through my friends list on Facebook and deleted a shit ton of people. I haven't talked to them in years, they live in states that are more than 6 hours away, blah blah blah. There were some people that I just couldn't delete because they're just so active on their Facebook and they post a lot of pictures. Is it bad that I just like looking at people's pictures? I don't really care if I know them or not. There are some people that I deleted and then blocked because I just really didn't like them and I did it mainly out of spite. One thing that does piss me off is when stupid bitches comment on someone else's status that I commented on, like I'm not going to fucking see it. Like you always said...exercise some act right, bitch.
• Since I started my job back in October, I haven't taken a day off. I've been sick twice: once I had food poisoning and the other time, I was having serious asthma problems (reason #50 billion as to why i should stop smoking). Yesterday was the first day that I took off. I was willing to go without pay for it because I just wanted the damn day off, but they found a way for me to get paid...even better. I woke up yesterday morning and I panicked because I thought I was super late for work and then I came to my senses. I proceeded to stay in bed until noon and read Twilight. Don't judge me! It was a beautiful day and I did pretty much nothing and I totally deserved it. But part of my mind wouldn't stop wondering what was going on at work and what I was missing in terms of emails. I really do love my job but I really wish that it would stop getting in my head on days when I shouldn't have to worry about it. 

Song of the day is by Mac Miller. He's this 20something kid from Pittsburgh and he's currently on tour with Wiz Khalifa, I'm totally going to see them when they come to town. Enjoy...

52 things

I was reading my birthday horoscope in Cosmo and it told me to make a list of sexy challenges that I need to accomplish between now and my next birthday. Fuck sexy challenges, I prefer badass ones instead. Today's my 24th birthday. It seems like just yesterday that I was turning 14, where the fuck have the past 10 years gone?!? I turn 25 next year, I'm actually pretty excited about that. I went out with friends last night and it was pretty fucking epic. We had crazy photoshoots at my best friend's and then at the bar. I need to take a better look at those pictures now that I'm sober. They might not be allowed on Facebook if I don't approve. With that being said, here's the beginning of my list...

1. Quit smoking I've been smoking since I was 16, it's about damn time that I quit. 
2. Go bungee jumping
3. Go skydiving
4. Learn how to play golf  I want to be a baller like my dad when I grow up so I really need to make this golf game my bitch because it's a really important business skill
5. Donate blood I don't like needles
6. Donate bone marrow I'm not sure what the process is for this but I want to help the little girl on the website
7. Learn how to shoot a gun I'm still on probation so I don't know if I'll actually be able to do this one. Will they let me do it if I have a misdemeanor charge on my record?
8. Go zip-lining Daddy did it. Anything he can do, I can do better. 
9. Learn another language Is it impossible for me to master another language in one year? I want to learn Farsi but I already speak French and a little Spanish...maybe I should just master that first. Baby steps
10. Be able to run a 10k I actually laughed as I was typing this one because I am the most unathletic person ever! I like the idea of working out a lot more than I like the act of working out so I'm going to have to work hard for this one. And to make matters worst, I actually had to look up the distance
11. Learn how to drive a stick
12. Learn how to fly a plane Seriously though, how awesome would it be if I learned the basics of aviation in a year?!
13. Finish getting my tattoos That includes both of my rib tattoos One down 07/05/11
14. Ride a motorcycle I clearly said ride and not drive because I don't know how to ride a bike, don't laugh
15. Volunteer for a cause that actually means something to me I signed up to volunteer for the Polaris Project. If you don't know what that is, check it out here
16. Try Crossfit Training I walked by a Crossfit gym the other day and saw people working out and that shit's intense, that makes me want to do it. 
17. Learn how to box Laila Ali-style I'm going to be the fittest bitch ever!
18. Learn how to drive a race car Danicka Patrick's hot and I want to be like her
19. Learn how to play paintball Read: make bitches submit to me in paintball
20. Go rock climbing I'm not talking about bullshit climbing either, I'm talking about actually being anchored into a rock. For safety reasons, I'll have to start off small with an indoor rock wall like this. I'm not trying to die any time soon. 
21. Refurnish my apartment without any help from my parents

Updated 07.01.2011

List to be continued...

Song of the day, this one makes me want to dance. Enjoy...

Things that make me happy

Chipotle seriously, the guy that created it is a gastronomic genius and I love him

Waking up when it's really bright outside and panicking because you think that you're late for work only to find out that it's the weekend and you don't have a thing to do

When the sun sets and the sky turns pink, purple, orange and blue

Snow days you're never too old to make a snowman

My dog the Moose 

Cara Lee Cupcakes if you don't know, please educate yourself here

Amazingly friendly moments with complete strangers making eye contact with people while you're walking down the street and they smile at you

County fairs strictly for the funnel cakes and corn dogs 

Playing with my friends' babies I can't wait to have kids, like 50 years from now

Watching the sun rise at the beach 

Spending entire days in bed just because I can

Getting snail mail aside from bills and my Netflix

When they bring back the Pumpkin Spice latte at Starbuck's 

When the leaves start changing colors at the beginning of Fall

Summer thunderstorms only the ones at night

When they finally put up the Christmas lights in Friendship Heights

Stealing borrowing hoodies from boys they smell good and they're worn in just right 

Flip-flops and cut-off jean shorts

Breezy summer nights with amazing people

My friends & family you guys should actually be really jealous because I definitely have the most amazing friends and family

Heard this song on a commercial and fell in love with it. Enjoy...

I hooked up with a guy with one testicle

The events of this past weekend prompted me to write my previous post. I have to give you a little back story on this one because it's all relevant. Right before my 21st birthday, I was hooking up with this 

kid, we'll just call him DMD2. He had this crazy group of friends and he warned me that it was hard to get into their circle because they were all so protective of each other. He introduced me to his friends and they liked me, I really liked them too. He was worried about his one friend, HootersGirl, totally disliking me. We actually really liked each other, I thought she was adorable. I don't usually like girls because they have vaginas and that fucks with their ability to think straight. She and I really did hit it off. Anyway, we all made plans to go out one night. HootersGirl brought her bf at the time, GC, and I thought he was hot as shit. Now don't get me wrong, I was totally hooking up with DMD2 but I still couldn't help but notice how hot the other guy was. Dude and I didn't last long as a "couple" but we ended up becoming really good friends. HootersGirl and I would occasionally run into each other in Bethesda or she would just happen to sit in my section for lunch, with said hot bf. He was always so sweet and remembered my name without being reminded. 

Fast forward a few years and multiple coincidental meetings with HootersGirls and GC, and then when they broke up, just GC. When I would run into him after they broke up, he was always very flirtatious and I was totally okay with that because I was the exact same way with him. Saturday night, I ran into him at Tommy Joe's. I almost didn't go out that night because I had taken a power nap at my best friend's and when I woke up, all I wanted to do was go home and pass the fuck out. I'm weired and I totally believe in signs and shit so I'm choosing to think that there was an actual reason that I ended up going out. It had nothing to do with alcohol because I was done drinking for the day. We get to the bar and I order a beer, that's a clear sign that I'm not feeling the night because I hate beer. I was wearing leggings and a t-shirt, both of which I had napped in, so I wasn't feeling very sexy. I have this thing with people touching me, I just don't like it, especially when I'm in a shitty mood. Some guy came up behind me at the bar and wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me back towards him. I was about to turn around and punch him in the face and then I realize who it was...GC, standing there with all 6 foot 2 inches of his sexiness. He gave me one of those hugs that you give people you want to fuck, the hugs that linger a little longer than most and where both of your bodies are pressed together. We briefly caught up, talked about both of our new jobs and the entire time, he kept his hand low on the small of my back. I went to find my friends and he continued talking to his friends womp womp womp. If you've been to Tommy Joe's, you know that it's only so big and there are only so many places that you can go. Since it was nice outside, I knew that my friends would be in the middle bar because it has an open roof. He somehow ended up right behind me again. I did nothing to initiate any of the initial contact with him, he just kept coming up to me and I loved it. We flirted a lot and we were very touchy-feely. When last call came around, he told me that I should come hang out with him and his boys. My best friend didn't want to chill so it was a solo mission. 

When we got back to his place, we sat on the couch for a little and hung out with his boys. They were funny and inappropriate and I liked them. I started falling asleep on the couch because GC was rubbing my back, sure fire way to make me fall asleep. We got up and went to his room. As soon as he shut the door behind us, he pushed me against it and kissed me in such a way that made my toes curl. We literally just started ripping each other's clothes off at that point, we could not keep our hands off each other. He kissed and licked his way down my body and went down on me right there against the door. There is nothing I love more than when  a guy is strong enough and big enough to pick me up. He literally picked me, slid himself inside of me and carried me to his bed all in one movement. I nearly creamed myself right then. I went to switch it up and give him head. While I was giving the dome, my tongue noticed something a little weird. I could have sworn there was one testicle. We were in the heat of passion fucking so I just assumed that I was moving too quickly and missed the other one. How does that happen? They come in pairs and are literally connected. WTF?! I just let it go at that point because there was no way that that conversation was going to go well. We fooled around for hours and by the time we rolled off each other, we were both sweating like whores in church and neither of us wanted to move. He finally got up to go to the bathroom and I got up and got dressed because I had every intention of going home. When he came back to his room and saw me fully dressed, he knew exactly what I was doing and looked really "sad". The face he made actually made me feel bad so I stayed. He slowly undressed me again, layed me down on the bed and rubbed my back until I fell asleep. The whole time he's doing that, all I could think was "what the hell is going on right now?"

We snuggled, we madeout like teenagers in the back of a movie theater, we talked and we laughed. I did everything with thim that I swear I would never do with guys that I wasn't dating. He pulled me in closer at one point and whispered about how I fit perfectly in his big spoon. EXCUSE ME?!? A few hours later, I rolled because I heard GC talking to someone. His roommate came home and assumed that dude was alone so he walked into the room and just started talking. GC introduced me to J, who proceeded to sit down in the desk chair at the end of the bed and hang out. We were both ass naked under the covers and no one seemed to care. The most awkward thing was that we were all laughing and joking with each other. What?! Dude, I fucked your roommate last night and we're still naked and in bed. You're sitting there, just chilling like nothing's going on. In any other situation, I would totally be weirded out by that but I was totally okay. J was funny and I liked him. Then J's girlfriend came over and sat on the edge of the bed and chilled too. Still wasn't weird. It was like a Twilight Zone moment and ordinarily I would have such a huge problem with the whole scenario but I was oddly loving it. That's when I knew I had to get the fuck out of there, like five minutes ago. I got dressed and got ready to leave. GC walked me to the door and gave me another toe-curling kiss then made his way down my neck to my collarbone. I almost melted right then and there. There was no exchange of numbers or promises me see each other again, it was just "thanks, peace out". 

I had some of the most amazing sex I ever had with a guy with one testicle. I asked my friend LRog about him because I knew that she had known him for a long time. I just wanted to make sure that he wasn't actually seeing anyone because I didn't want some crazy bitch coming after me on the mean streets of Bethesda. When I asked her about him, she just started laughing and asked if I had noticed him one testicle. My mouth dropped and then we were both laughing. Her best friend hooked up with him in high school to find out whether or not the one ball rumor was actually true. We laughed for a really long time about. It definitely does not fuck with his ability to lay pipe because he does that like a champ. 

Moral of the story ladies and gentleman: if you hear that someone cute have a "deformity" or irregularity, give them a chance anyway. You might not regret it. 

Song of the day: Here's to warm nights, pool parties and everything that symbolizes summer. Enjoy...

Am I getting soft in my old age?

I've been catching up on my extremely long Netflix queue and was very happy to receive a lovely little red envelope in the mail yesterday. I have to most random movies on there, from Nicholas Sparks-type shit to movies where crap blows up every five minutes. I reorganize the queue frequently, depending on what kind of mood I'm in. Anyway, yesterday I got the movie No Strings Attached; it's the one with Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher. They're friends with benefits womp womp womp, look it up here. If you've seen the movie, then wonderful; you'll be able to understand the majority of this post. While I was watching the movie, I couldn't help but see the personality resemblance between me and Natalie Portman's character. I don't do relationships because it's just easier not to and dare I say, I'm afraid of getting hurt. I don't want to invest that much effort when that person is just going to turn around and leave or I'm just going to get bored. Me getting bored happens more often than not when it comes to guys. I have very little patience for stupidity and the other person needs to put forth a little bit of effort in order to keep me even remotely entertained. I'm not asking for someone to give me the moon, I'm not crazy. I'd like to do more than drink, watch you do drugs (I don't get down with those activities because I'm on probation) and have sex. Now if the sex were earth-shattering, back-breaking kind of shit then I'd be quite alright with constant drinking and the illegal activities because I'd be getting amazing orgasms in return. Half the time, it's okay and it hits the spot at that very moment. But let's be serious for a minute, after a certain point, that shit gets old. I'm at the point where I'm looking for something more, something that's been missing from the past "flings". If someone can come up with a better word than relationship as a means of defining what I'm looking for, then by all means, please let me know. As of right now, I guess I'm kinda looking for a relationship (I can't believe that I'm actually saying this). As much as I've loved having flings or whatever-you-want-to-call-thems, I'm looking for something more...something that actually means something. My quest for something meaningful with regards to guys has led me to believe that I'm getting soft in my old age.

When I was 21, I paid no attention to anyone but myself. I did what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted and I took pity on anyone that tried to stop me. I strung guys along and played with their feelings on purpose just because I knew that I could. Maybe that's why the guys that I like/want to get to know better now are all douchebags and they get worse every single time. I'm getting the shitty behavior back tenfold, karma's a huge fucking bitch and I totally deserve it. I just feel like it would be nice to have someone to cuddle with (sex or no sex), someone to walk down the street and hold hands with, someone to have pointless conversations with at 4 o'clock in the morning just because you can. I may be a huge bitch and I act like a don't need anyone but I'm not going to lie, that's all an act. I want/need those relationship-type things sometimes. I'm not saying I want to spend all of my waking hours with someone because I have my life and they have theirs but "companionship" would be nice sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I have pretty freaking amazing friends and family but they can't fill that void. I know I've said a million times that I would take time off from guys and blah blah blah, suck a fat one...but there's a tiny minuscule part of me that kinda wants a relationship or at least something more than sex. I know it's summer and being single during the summer is great but sometimes it's nice to not come home alone. 

Now that I've bared my soul and I feel like a gump for having said everything I just said, I'm going to make myself feel better by dancing around my apartment (Cameron Diaz-style) to this song. Don't forget to insert a little fist pumping, enjoy...

Everyday, I'm shuffling.

 I went to the beach for Memorial Day weekend, best decision ever. We had such a good time, it was one big shitshow. I don't usually go out and get crazy but this time, I really didn't give a shit. All we did was drink copious amounts of alcohol, lay on the beach and party like it was our job. You only live once so you might as well make that shit as fun as possible. If any of you have ever been to Seacrets in OC, you know how big that place is. Somehow, I lost my friends for an hour but it was fine because I made more friends and we drank. I pissed in the men's bathroom way too many times...the line for the women's bathroom is always long as shit and I had to pee real bad! I got crucially sunburnt because I fell asleep in the sun and nobody wanted to wake me up because I hate being awakened when I'm not ready to wake up. Thanks fuckers! Now which one of you bitches is going to rub aloe all over my body?!?!

I'm a huge fan of he Baltimore Ravens. I sleep in Willis McGahee jersey every night before game day and I wear a Ray Rice jersey every game day. They are my boys and no matter what happens, I will always love them. I said all that to say that I met Ray Rice on the beach. I was laying there on my towel, minding my own business and he was with his friends not more than 10 feet away. When I first saw him, I immediately creamed myself. Once I recovered, I tried not to cause a scene so that he would see me. I was trying to formulate a plan of action when he started talking to me. Ray Rice started talking to me, I creamed myself again. He asked me what my name was and the usual shit like that and then he asked me if I wanted to play catch. I'm sorry, whaaaaat? That was my first mistake, I should have freaking played catch with him. He legit started flirting with me. I was wearing nothing but a bikini so there wasn't much to be left to the imagination. He saw the tattoo that wraps around my hip and then he touched it, he rubbed my tattoo and said that he liked it. That was his first mistake. I don't care who you are, I do not like being touched. And the fact that I have thought about you bending me over every single piece of furniture in my apartment is completely irrelevant. I don't like being touched and I told him that, he laughed it off. I will not compromise myself or my values just because you made me cream myself in a 30 second span just by being near me! He told me that I was going to be his date to Party Block on 17th Street. They were leaving at 145 and I should meet them in the hotel lobby so that I could ride with them. Again...I'm sorry, whaaaat?! Ray Rice just told me to be his date to a freaking party. I'm in there like motherfucking swimwear. I love it when I man takes control and tells me what I'm going to do, within reason of course. I had an hour before I needed to be in his hotel lobby. At that point I should have gone back to the room and freshened up a little bit; I was hot and sweaty, I reeked of alcohol, I was slightly intoxicated, I was just a hot fucking mess. I decided that taking a power nap in the sun was a much better idea because I didn't want to get there and be tired an hour later. I told my friends to wake me up at 130. Mind you, we're laying on the beach in the middle of the afternoon when it's hot as balls and there isn't a cloud in the sky. I wake up at 3 o'clock because I was parched as shit. I grabbed a gross, hot beer and downed the whole thing. Then I looked at my watch and freaked the fuck out. How could I have fucked this up? The only thing I had to do was be ready at 145 so that I could ride with them to the bar. I was pissed as shit. And on top of it, my "power nap" was the reason I got a crucial sunburn. I met Ray Rice and fucked it up. I'm still bitter about that shit.

Summer, I'm ready for you. You better bring your A game because we will tear your ass up if you don't. 

Song of the day...fast-forward to about 1:25. Turn it up real loud and get ready to rage, I know we did all weekend. Enjoy!

Places I would rather be right now...

Things I would rather be doing right now...

I'm in desperate need of a vacation. It's a damn good thing that I'm going to the beach for the weekend. Somebody might get hurt otherwise. 

Song of the day, this one reminds me of dancing on the beach in Negril. I need to be there again, like 5 minutes ago. Enjoy...

Humpday

Today was such a blah day, I really thought nothing of it. But last night was a good night, that's probably the reason I'm having such a blah day...blame it on the 100 proof Captain Morgan rum that my BFF made me drink. She had sushi night at her house. I should have documented it but I was too busy dancing, eating her sushi and drinking. She tries to have sushi shindigs every couple of weeks. She doesn't buy the pre-made sushi, that would be so elementary for her. She likes to get creative so she makes all the sushi herself. She had a bunch of people come over and we just hung out and ate, my favorite thing to do. For the record, Mackenzie does not do well with 100 proof liquor of any kind. It always leads to complete unproductivity to the next day, it's a miracle that I'm even writing a new post. In other news, enjoy some mellow music while you read the rest of this post...

(It sounds better if you turn it up loud, I promise)

I was going through my closet this morning for something to wear to work. That's a daily struggle even though I have a fuck ton of clothes...they just need more company. I periodically go through my closet, clean it out and give the shit that I don't want to the Salvation Army. My parents say that I have a problem with shopping; it's not like I have a drug problem so relax. Summer's coming and I couldn't be more thrilled about that. My absolute must-haves for said wonderful season are funky colored bikinis, long dresses (preferably with crazy patterns), flip-flops and light sweaters. I keep spares of those things in my trunk because I like to be unpredictable and have a wardrobe to match. I was Internet window shopping and came across one that I would like to have on my person, like yesterday...

Parker Rectangle Print Long Dress @Shopbop.com

I'm hungry so I'm going to go stuff my face for the 50th time today.

Later you sexy bitches!