"let us endeavor so to live that when we die even the undertaker will be sorry." mark twain
I was sitting in traffic the other and I started thinking. That was my first mistake. If I were to die today, what would people say at my funeral? I shuddered at that thought. They would probably bring up stories like that one time, some douche really pissed me off so I flattened his tires. I used a small, thin screwdriver to insert into the valve stems (the little tube that stick out of your tires, where you attach the air hose when filling your tires) and punctured them so that they wouldn't hold air anymore.
I'm sure that there would be people that would stand up for me when everyone else was talking trash. I have no idea what they would say but I'm sure someone would say something nice...right guys?!? I try to be nice to people but then they do stupid shit so I take it upon myself to act on karma's behalf and get them back. I should really change my behavior so that my tombstone doesn't read "She was a raging cunt. Good riddance."
What would people say at your funeral?