Boys smell like an unidentifiable musk. Each one comes with his own unique fragrance and the second you come in contact with it, it’s locked into your memory forever. Because even though it’s hard to pinpoint exactly what it is, you’ll smell it for years to come. You’ll smell the boy who used to love you in the summertime at a grocery store when you’re 25 or maybe even 30, and it will stop you dead in your tracks, temporarily paralyzed by a memory. You feel like you don’t have a right to sniff that smell anymore so you make a beeline for the exit and get the hell away from it. You go home and drown yourself in your own perfume and try to erase its mark.
Last time I checked, I had no desire to actually be with him. I think that I just miss the way things were and all the things we used to do. As I wrote that sentence, I realized that we never actually did anything though. So basically, I miss not doing anything with him... does that even make sense? I don't even know what I'm saying but in my mind, it totally makes sense.
The other night, I had a dream that I was out with Little Chief Swag. We were walking down the street and holding hands, I was laughing at whatever stupid thing he said. It was so real, so familiar but then all of a sudden, his girlfriend showed up and I literally started to disappear into thin air. I woke up in bed next to the Corporal and for some reason, I wasn't expecting him to be there. It was almost as if I was half expecting Little Chief Swag to be there; it made no sense, considering I went to sleep in the Corporal's bed. I woke up in some guy's bed and I dreamed about a completely different guy. WTF? There must have been something that triggered my memory and I didn't realize it until I was asleep. I
I feel like the only reason I keep thinking about him is because his stupid little girlfriend keeps tagging him in pictures and they keep showing up in my newsfeed. She's not even pretty, I'm sure she's a stupid bitch. Yes, that is my jealousy talking and no, I don't care if it makes me sound childish. Perfect quotes for moments like these...