7.17.2011

Everything happens for a reason

Me and the coolest dad I know

I'm currently blogging this post from my dad's hospital room.  I hate hospitals with a passion but as long as he's in here, there's no place I'd rather be. He called me around noon on saturday saying that he had locked himself out of the house and he needed me to drive him to the hospital. He said that he would explain everything when I got there. You can't tell me that you need to drive you to the hospital and you'll explain everything while we're on the way there. The dramatic person that I am, I started imagining the worst things ever. He wasn't feeling well. He had pain in his left side and was having a heart attack on the floor in his garage, alone. That thought alone sent tears streaming down my face. I floored it down the highway, pushed my car to the limit to the point where had I crashed, I would have died on impact. Smart, right?  Of course. I make it to my dad's house in half the time it usually takes me, my eyes were bloodshot from crying. My dad knew not to ask me how fast I was going. He immediately reassured me that he felt fine but that he was having vision problems. He was driving home from the golf course and he lost partial vision in his right eye. He was slightly concerned about that so he went on WebMD and looked up the symptoms. He was confused about the results that popped up so he called his eye doctor. The doctor told him to get to Washington Hospital Center as soon as possible so that one of the residents could see him, just a precaution. He was sitting in the ER so that they could check his vitals and run some vision tests. Turns out that some plaque from his arteries lodged itself in his optic nerve. That was what was causing his vision loss. That's the equivalent of him having a stroke in his eye. Because of that, he has a higher risk of having a stroke in his brain, which could cause paralysis. When the ER docs came in and told him that, he was putting on his shoes and was about to try and walk out. He felt fine and he looked fine. They said that they didn't feel comfortable signing him out against medical advice. He didn't give a shit. He took my car keys and started walking to the exit. I had to reach deep down inside of me to pull out my Sheniqua-side. I caused a scene in the freaking ER just to get him to listen to me. I refused to let him walk out of the ER when he's at risk of having a stroke in his brain. He seriously thought that I was just going to take him home after founding out all that information. I fucking refused to put him in danger like that. The scene was so bad that 2 security guards came and asked me to calm down because I was worrying the other people in the ER. I'm in the middle of a life or death conversation with my dad right now so go fuck yourselves. Daddy finally agreed to stay because he realized that this was a serious situation and that he could drop dead by the end of the night.

I love my parents more than anything in this world. I know that one day, they'll no longer be around and that fact kills me. Who am I going to call when I'm looking for my car on the wrong floor of the parking garage? Daddy always calms me down and starts laughing because I always assume that someone stole it. He tells that I'm probably on the wrong floor, I assure him that I'm not. Then in the end, I realize that I really am. Who am I going to call when I'm can't figure out how to use a kitchen appliance? My mom always says that she worries about me when I call her with questions like that. Who's going to tell me when daylight savings starts and when daylight savings ends? Who's going to give me parental hugs when I'm having a shitty day and assume my life is over? I can't live without them and as far as I'm concerned right now, they're immortal. Don't judge me!

I went to daddy's last night to get him some clothes and basic things to get him through the weekend. They put him in the stroke ward as a precaution so that they could monitor him and all that good shit. I tried to make things as comfortable for him as possible because he hates sitting around and doing nothing. He made me bring him his iPad, his Kindle and his iPhone because he can never have too many gadgets.  The doctors and nurses wouldn't let me stay the night last night and I threw a fit. My mom was here and she called me down. My dad assured me that everything was going to be fine and that he would make it thru the night. My mom was the only one that understood why I refused to leave him. When my grandpa was in the hospital right before he died, the doctors told my mother to send me home because I was too young to really understand what was going on. I must have been 7 or 8. I didn't have a good feeling about the situation but I was too young to put my foot down and be taking seriously. My dad took me home. When I went back to the hospital the next day with him, my grandpa was already gone. He had died in the middle of the night. I had stayed there for a week with my mom and I fell asleep right next to his bed every night, holding his hand. The one night I wasn't there, he died. I know that I wasn't responsible for it but it still didn't sit well. I really didn't want to leave my dad here alone last night because I feared the worst. I barely slept last night because I kept thinking horrible things were happening and no one was letting me know.

I came back bright and early this morning because I couldn't stand it anymore. He was fine. He laughed when I walked in and already had tears in my eyes. He knew that I hadn't slept well and he even offered me the bed so that I could take a nap. I've spent well over 12 hours here in this room with him and there's no place I'd rather be. He watched the World Cup game, nature shows and America's funniest Home Videos. Somewhere in between, he started snoring with his mouth open per his usual sleeping style. I just looked at him and smiled because I love him so much. With that thought, I know that everything is going to be okay. 

4 comments:

  1. I am very sorry to hear that your father is in the hospital, Mackenzie. Wishing him a speedy recovery - hopefully he'll be out of there (and with a clean bill of health!) soon.

    It's touching to hear about the strong bond you share with your father. And sadly, a lot of people would not be willing to spend the entire day keeping their parent company in the hospital. It shows that you have a lot of character and you really do care about him.

    ~SP

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  2. I'm sorry to hear about your father, love. I'll keep your family in my prayers. I commend you for that scene you caused at the hospital - if that's what it took to get him to stay, then you do what you have to do. It was in his best interest.

    It also warms my heart to see how close you are with your parents because I am the same way. I really don't know what I'd do without them. . the thought of it is scary as hell. It's like we need them to help us with all the adult ish we don't know about yet, you know? Please keep us updated on your father's progress and just like you told me before - if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. Email me, text me if you want (email me first so I can give u my contact info) Love ya, girl!

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  3. I can't imagine how stressful that was. I hope he gets better soon. I'm also glad you convinced him to stay. Sometimes parents need to listen to the kids!

    I feel the same way you do about the mortality of parents. I lost my father young and I wasn't really close to him, but I just don't know what I'll do when I lose my mother. I always selfishly wish I die before her so I don't have to go through it. Maybe I'll take up your immortality belief.

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  4. I am sorry to hear about that love. You guys are in my thoughts.

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